Activities to Help You Deal with Anger and Frustration
Where to buy: www.amazon.com
If you have teenagers or work with teenagers, I am sure you are familiar with their sometimes sudden outbursts of anger. There are many factors that can cause anger and rage, from stress at school and home or problems with friends. Depending on the severity of your teen’s outbursts, it might be necessary to see a health professional to help them cope with anger in a positive way and find useful anger strategies. However, The Anger Workbook for Teens is an additional source of support to give your teens positive ways and skills to deal with their negative feelings and live a much happier life.
The workbook gives teens an in-depth understanding of why they feel anger and what sets it off. With the help of the exercises in the workbook, the teens learn coping strategies to keep their anger at bay and how to calm their feelings of rage and anger. After filling out their own personal anger profile, the workbook invites them to make their own anger game plan.
Overall, I think that this workbook, designed and written by a professional anger school counselor with extensive experience, is a very effective tool in helping your angry teens to turn away from aggression and instead become happy and calm individuals.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Staying Sane With Angry Teenagers
Teenagers are often described as being filled with angst. While this might or might not accurately describe your teenager, your teen may have an issue with anger. What happens when keeping your sanity with angry teenagers doesn’t seem possible? Here are some tips to help you maintain your grip and keep lines of communication with your teen open.
Your teen is going through so much in their life. They want to be treated like an adult but haven’t quite reached that age yet. They may also have made some poor decisions which have caused you to withhold the respect they so desperately desire.
Do everything you can to make sure your teen knows you love them. You may not particularly care for their attitude or how they treat you or the other family members, but they need to know your love for them won’t change. However, even though you love them, they also need to understand that certain outbursts and attitudes aren’t acceptable.
No matter how angry your teen may be, or for whatever reason, it is important to choose the high road with them. It would be easy to get dragged down to their level and respond to anger with anger. This course of action never works. Instead you can choose to control your anger and talk with them in a calm manner. By modeling calm to your teen, they may actually begin to become less angry.
Help them realize that some anger is normal. However, remaining angry for no apparent reason or for long periods of time is not. Try to show your teen proper ways to deal with their frustrations rather than yelling, screaming or taking their anger out on someone. Tell them you understand their frustration with a younger sibling going into their room, but hitting their brother or sister isn’t appropriate.
When your teen has calmed down some, ask them how they could better react in a productive rather than angry way. Help them to see that anger is not the solution to their problem. In fact, staying angry may cause more problems than their initial complaint.
If you notice your own emotions beginning to flare when dealing with your teen, it might be a good idea for both of you to have a time out. Take some time to go to separate rooms to think about what has happened. When you’ve both calmed down you can begin talking again. Let them know exactly what they’ve done or said that wasn’t approved of. Then help them try to decide how to better handle a similar situation in the future.
If you do happen to let your teen’s anger rub off on you, forgive yourself. Emotions are a tricky business and they are easily transferred from one to another when tension and feelings are high. Apologize to your teen for your part in escalating the issue and tell them you hope you can both try to do better next time.
Ask other parents how they deal with their teens’ anger. They may have advice or suggestions which will work for your family. If all else fails, you can also seek professional help. Perhaps your teen’s anger is worse than you thought. A professional will be able to determine what the best course of action is to help them overcome their anger.
Your teen is trying to figure out where they fit in. They’re not quite adults and not quite children. Be sure to tell them you love them even when keeping your sanity with angry teenagers seems impossible.
Your teen is going through so much in their life. They want to be treated like an adult but haven’t quite reached that age yet. They may also have made some poor decisions which have caused you to withhold the respect they so desperately desire.
Do everything you can to make sure your teen knows you love them. You may not particularly care for their attitude or how they treat you or the other family members, but they need to know your love for them won’t change. However, even though you love them, they also need to understand that certain outbursts and attitudes aren’t acceptable.
No matter how angry your teen may be, or for whatever reason, it is important to choose the high road with them. It would be easy to get dragged down to their level and respond to anger with anger. This course of action never works. Instead you can choose to control your anger and talk with them in a calm manner. By modeling calm to your teen, they may actually begin to become less angry.
Help them realize that some anger is normal. However, remaining angry for no apparent reason or for long periods of time is not. Try to show your teen proper ways to deal with their frustrations rather than yelling, screaming or taking their anger out on someone. Tell them you understand their frustration with a younger sibling going into their room, but hitting their brother or sister isn’t appropriate.
When your teen has calmed down some, ask them how they could better react in a productive rather than angry way. Help them to see that anger is not the solution to their problem. In fact, staying angry may cause more problems than their initial complaint.
If you notice your own emotions beginning to flare when dealing with your teen, it might be a good idea for both of you to have a time out. Take some time to go to separate rooms to think about what has happened. When you’ve both calmed down you can begin talking again. Let them know exactly what they’ve done or said that wasn’t approved of. Then help them try to decide how to better handle a similar situation in the future.
If you do happen to let your teen’s anger rub off on you, forgive yourself. Emotions are a tricky business and they are easily transferred from one to another when tension and feelings are high. Apologize to your teen for your part in escalating the issue and tell them you hope you can both try to do better next time.
Ask other parents how they deal with their teens’ anger. They may have advice or suggestions which will work for your family. If all else fails, you can also seek professional help. Perhaps your teen’s anger is worse than you thought. A professional will be able to determine what the best course of action is to help them overcome their anger.
Your teen is trying to figure out where they fit in. They’re not quite adults and not quite children. Be sure to tell them you love them even when keeping your sanity with angry teenagers seems impossible.
Stop Yelling at Your Kids
How many of you are guilty of yelling at your kids? If you are a yeller, these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids may provide you with the help you need to change your yelling habits.
For anyone who does yell at their kids, you know it’s a hard habit to break. You may be so used to yelling that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Remember your children will learn more by example than what is told or explained to them. So if you yell a lot, your children are more likely to follow suit. Once you’ve broken that cycle of yelling, you’ll find life as a family is much calmer.
Are your children loud? You may have started yelling out of necessity so you would be heard. However, in many cases, yelling is done to release frustrations. No matter the reason for it, many parents who yell are embarrassed and wish things could change.
* Plan ahead. You know your children are going to frustrate you at some point, so plan ahead how you will handle it. Pay attention to the warning signs such as clenching your teeth or fists, a slight raise to your voice or possibly shaking.
* Ask for help. Allow them to give you a signal if your voice begins getting louder. This could be a ‘catch phrase’ which someone not in-the-know won’t understand but you will recognize it as a clue to control yourself.
* Develop coping mechanisms. Walk out of the room, take a deep breath or count to ten. Find a coping mechanism that works for you and continue using it when you realize you’re about to yell. Some people snap a rubber band which is around their wrist.
* Think about your child’s temper tantrums. Why do they have a meltdown? They’re tired, hungry or frustrated. Are you experiencing the same things?
* Pay attention to the times you’re more liable to yell. Perhaps you yell when you’re more stressed than usual. Once you understand when you yell, you’ll be better able to avoid those situations.
* Find new ways to get your children’s attention. Don’t yell if your children aren’t paying attention to you. Use a whistle, stand on a chair or try anything out of the ordinary.
* If all else fails, seek professional help. Some people have a hard time breaking habits and yelling is one of them. Speak to someone who can hold you accountable or a professional who deals with anger management. They may be able to provide you with the help you need.
There are many reasons to stop yelling. It could affect your children’s self-esteem and it causes your blood pressure to rise. Using these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids, you can change the dynamics of your home from stressful to peaceful. Give it a try and see if these methods work for you.
For anyone who does yell at their kids, you know it’s a hard habit to break. You may be so used to yelling that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Remember your children will learn more by example than what is told or explained to them. So if you yell a lot, your children are more likely to follow suit. Once you’ve broken that cycle of yelling, you’ll find life as a family is much calmer.
Are your children loud? You may have started yelling out of necessity so you would be heard. However, in many cases, yelling is done to release frustrations. No matter the reason for it, many parents who yell are embarrassed and wish things could change.
* Plan ahead. You know your children are going to frustrate you at some point, so plan ahead how you will handle it. Pay attention to the warning signs such as clenching your teeth or fists, a slight raise to your voice or possibly shaking.
* Ask for help. Allow them to give you a signal if your voice begins getting louder. This could be a ‘catch phrase’ which someone not in-the-know won’t understand but you will recognize it as a clue to control yourself.
* Develop coping mechanisms. Walk out of the room, take a deep breath or count to ten. Find a coping mechanism that works for you and continue using it when you realize you’re about to yell. Some people snap a rubber band which is around their wrist.
* Think about your child’s temper tantrums. Why do they have a meltdown? They’re tired, hungry or frustrated. Are you experiencing the same things?
* Pay attention to the times you’re more liable to yell. Perhaps you yell when you’re more stressed than usual. Once you understand when you yell, you’ll be better able to avoid those situations.
* Find new ways to get your children’s attention. Don’t yell if your children aren’t paying attention to you. Use a whistle, stand on a chair or try anything out of the ordinary.
* If all else fails, seek professional help. Some people have a hard time breaking habits and yelling is one of them. Speak to someone who can hold you accountable or a professional who deals with anger management. They may be able to provide you with the help you need.
There are many reasons to stop yelling. It could affect your children’s self-esteem and it causes your blood pressure to rise. Using these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids, you can change the dynamics of your home from stressful to peaceful. Give it a try and see if these methods work for you.
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