Monday, October 18, 2010

Review: The Anger Workbook for Teens

Activities to Help You Deal with Anger and Frustration
Where to buy:

If you have teenagers or work with teenagers, I am sure you are familiar with their sometimes sudden outbursts of anger. There are many factors that can cause anger and rage, from stress at school and home or problems with friends. Depending on the severity of your teen’s outbursts, it might be necessary to see a health professional to help them cope with anger in a positive way and find useful anger strategies. However, The Anger Workbook for Teens is an additional source of support to give your teens positive ways and skills to deal with their negative feelings and live a much happier life.

The workbook gives teens an in-depth understanding of why they feel anger and what sets it off. With the help of the exercises in the workbook, the teens learn coping strategies to keep their anger at bay and how to calm their feelings of rage and anger. After filling out their own personal anger profile, the workbook invites them to make their own anger game plan.

Overall, I think that this workbook, designed and written by a professional anger school counselor with extensive experience, is a very effective tool in helping your angry teens to turn away from aggression and instead become happy and calm individuals.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Staying Sane With Angry Teenagers

Teenagers are often described as being filled with angst. While this might or might not accurately describe your teenager, your teen may have an issue with anger. What happens when keeping your sanity with angry teenagers doesn’t seem possible? Here are some tips to help you maintain your grip and keep lines of communication with your teen open.

Your teen is going through so much in their life. They want to be treated like an adult but haven’t quite reached that age yet. They may also have made some poor decisions which have caused you to withhold the respect they so desperately desire.

Do everything you can to make sure your teen knows you love them. You may not particularly care for their attitude or how they treat you or the other family members, but they need to know your love for them won’t change. However, even though you love them, they also need to understand that certain outbursts and attitudes aren’t acceptable.

No matter how angry your teen may be, or for whatever reason, it is important to choose the high road with them. It would be easy to get dragged down to their level and respond to anger with anger. This course of action never works. Instead you can choose to control your anger and talk with them in a calm manner. By modeling calm to your teen, they may actually begin to become less angry.

Help them realize that some anger is normal. However, remaining angry for no apparent reason or for long periods of time is not. Try to show your teen proper ways to deal with their frustrations rather than yelling, screaming or taking their anger out on someone. Tell them you understand their frustration with a younger sibling going into their room, but hitting their brother or sister isn’t appropriate.

When your teen has calmed down some, ask them how they could better react in a productive rather than angry way. Help them to see that anger is not the solution to their problem. In fact, staying angry may cause more problems than their initial complaint.

If you notice your own emotions beginning to flare when dealing with your teen, it might be a good idea for both of you to have a time out. Take some time to go to separate rooms to think about what has happened. When you’ve both calmed down you can begin talking again. Let them know exactly what they’ve done or said that wasn’t approved of. Then help them try to decide how to better handle a similar situation in the future.

If you do happen to let your teen’s anger rub off on you, forgive yourself. Emotions are a tricky business and they are easily transferred from one to another when tension and feelings are high. Apologize to your teen for your part in escalating the issue and tell them you hope you can both try to do better next time.

Ask other parents how they deal with their teens’ anger. They may have advice or suggestions which will work for your family. If all else fails, you can also seek professional help. Perhaps your teen’s anger is worse than you thought. A professional will be able to determine what the best course of action is to help them overcome their anger.

Your teen is trying to figure out where they fit in. They’re not quite adults and not quite children. Be sure to tell them you love them even when keeping your sanity with angry teenagers seems impossible.

Stop Yelling at Your Kids

How many of you are guilty of yelling at your kids? If you are a yeller, these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids may provide you with the help you need to change your yelling habits.

For anyone who does yell at their kids, you know it’s a hard habit to break. You may be so used to yelling that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Remember your children will learn more by example than what is told or explained to them. So if you yell a lot, your children are more likely to follow suit. Once you’ve broken that cycle of yelling, you’ll find life as a family is much calmer.

Are your children loud? You may have started yelling out of necessity so you would be heard. However, in many cases, yelling is done to release frustrations. No matter the reason for it, many parents who yell are embarrassed and wish things could change.

* Plan ahead. You know your children are going to frustrate you at some point, so plan ahead how you will handle it. Pay attention to the warning signs such as clenching your teeth or fists, a slight raise to your voice or possibly shaking.

* Ask for help. Allow them to give you a signal if your voice begins getting louder. This could be a ‘catch phrase’ which someone not in-the-know won’t understand but you will recognize it as a clue to control yourself.

* Develop coping mechanisms. Walk out of the room, take a deep breath or count to ten. Find a coping mechanism that works for you and continue using it when you realize you’re about to yell. Some people snap a rubber band which is around their wrist.

* Think about your child’s temper tantrums. Why do they have a meltdown? They’re tired, hungry or frustrated. Are you experiencing the same things?

* Pay attention to the times you’re more liable to yell. Perhaps you yell when you’re more stressed than usual. Once you understand when you yell, you’ll be better able to avoid those situations.

* Find new ways to get your children’s attention. Don’t yell if your children aren’t paying attention to you. Use a whistle, stand on a chair or try anything out of the ordinary.

* If all else fails, seek professional help. Some people have a hard time breaking habits and yelling is one of them. Speak to someone who can hold you accountable or a professional who deals with anger management. They may be able to provide you with the help you need.

There are many reasons to stop yelling. It could affect your children’s self-esteem and it causes your blood pressure to rise. Using these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids, you can change the dynamics of your home from stressful to peaceful. Give it a try and see if these methods work for you.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Anger Management Activities for Teens

The teenage years can be difficult. They have so much to cope with, including changes to their bodies, along with huge leaps in their mental and cognitive abilities. Unfortunately, their emotions have a tough time dealing with it all, and they frequently express themselves in ways that an adult considers inappropriate. This is a hard thing for parents to deal with. Their kids are starting to resemble adults physically, but emotionally they can act like small children at times. Oftentimes, they will express their frustrations through anger. If the situation is serious, it might become necessary to try some anger management activities for teens so that they can learn to cope with their underlying problems rather than masking them through an angry outburst.

One anger management activity for teens is to use a journal where they can work on writing out or drawing the entire situation which led to the angry outburst. Usually they will need to start with the words that came out of their mouths at the time (beware, it may be ugly) and then work backwards to the incident that occurred and then work on what really bothered them about the incident. Often they will draw a pain in a certain part of their body or will draw a symbol that represents the deeper issue that is going on below the anger. Often, the core issue is that the teen's feelings were hurt and the only way they knew how to deal with that pain was to become angry and lash out.

Once the core issue can be defined, then the anger management activity for teens can move to the problem solving phase. In this phase, the teen can sort out different solutions to the underlying problem rather than inappropriately acting out in anger. They need to be taught how to express anger and pain appropriately. If they are not taught these anger management tips in teen years, they are likely to either become an angry adult, or they will be belittled so much for becoming angry that they will stuff the anger and turn it inward so that it manifests in self destructive patterns.

Other anger management activities can include exercise, since this can help teens to expend some of their emotions in physical activity before sorting out the core issues. If the teen anger management activity only includes the exercise without including the cognitive part of the process, then the teen may end up using exercise inappropriately which can lead to other issues in the future.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

How to Help Someone with Anger Management Issues

A person living with someone who has anger management problems is frequently the target of the angry outbursts. However, this person is also the one most likely to be able to offer help and support to the angry person when they decide to gain control of their problem. There are circumstances when someone who has difficulty controlling their temper will actually ask for help from those closest to them, and that person will then be wondering how to go about finding information on how to help someone with anger management problems.

Some people might have become disillusioned with different anger management methods that are promoted by charlatans on the market and ask, "Does anger management really help?" However, there are methods that are promoted by the American Psychological Association that have been proven to work with many different individuals who have struggled their whole lives with anger management problems.

There are different ways to help someone with anger management. One of the best ways is to help that person learn to decompress from the issue before saying or doing anything rash. Often going for a walk and helping them to learn to breathe through their diaphragm is one way to allow them to expend energy in a healthy way and to learn to relax. In addition, it can be helpful for the individual to get away from the issue at hand for a moment in order to calm down before reacting.

If the person is not there physically to help someone with anger management, they can be available by phone so that the individual needing help can call and let the other person talk them through breathing techniques and relaxation so that they can calm down until they can learn to do it for themselves.

Another approach to anger management help is to learn to journal their thoughts. Journaling allows individuals to see situations written out in black and white, which can be helpful to allowing them to sort out what the underlying problem was that triggered the extreme reaction of anger. Often, by helping someone with an anger management journal, they will begin to realize that their anger is most highly triggered when someone embarrasses them in front of others in some way, or that it is triggered most by people who are perceived to be wasting the individual's time.

By identifying the root of the anger, the individual is more able to recognize it when it occurs and talk himself through it logically before reacting. For instance, when feeling embarrassed for making a mistake that someone else pointed out, he can tell himself that everyone makes mistakes and the important thing is to learn from it rather than make another one by becoming angry.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Free Anger Management Activities to Help You Gain Control

Some people are more inclined than others to experience problems with controlling their anger. They seem to be unable to keep their feelings under control and just let loose whenever they're in an upsetting situation. Fortunately for these people, there are free anger management activities that they can use to learn how to suitably express or contain their feelings in a more acceptable fashion.

One type of free anger management activity is relaxation, where the individual learns different techniques to help him to relax and calm down before saying or doing anything rash. Deep breathing is one technique individuals can use where they concentrate on breathing deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth, taking a minute to calm down. This breathing should be done through the diaphragm, which means the air should be pulled down toward the gut rather than just through the chest. While breathing, the individual can say a calming word or phrase to himself such as "calm down" and can picture a soothing scene or person in his mind.

Exercise is another free anger management activity that individuals can use to calm down. This does not mean that an individual has to go to a sports gym, but can merely take a time out where he or she walks down the hallway or around the building a coupe of times to get some fresh air, expend some energy, breathe and work to calm down. Another free anger management activity is to work on changing the way a person thinks when he becomes irritated. This includes changing inner thoughts to more constructive patterns such as reminding himself that getting angry does not help or change anything about a situation, only finding a solution or resolution to the situation is helpful. Using a journal or notebook during this phase or reconditioning in free anger management activities can be helpful since some individuals process their thoughts better when written out on paper where they can review them to see which ones are rational and which ones might need to be re-evaluated.

In addition to these free anger management activities, it is also wise to plan some fun time into every day so that the individual has time to unwind and let loose of all the burdens that he has been carrying over the course of the day. Many angry people are really at the root stressed out, feeling like they cannot carry any more burdens on their shoulders so that the least irritations seem huge and lead them to anger. Reducing stress also reduces anger in these people and building in personal time can help with this.

Much of this advice can also be adapted into anger management activities for teens, as teenagers are prone to these outbursts since their emotional maturity is the last thing to develop.

Monday, June 22, 2009

An Anger Management Self Help Book Can Do Wonders

There is a variety anger management self help books that are targeted toward providing people who have anger management problems with useful advice to deal with their issues in a positive manner. They are also useful for people who are concerned about helping a loved one or close friend who has difficulties controlling their temper. A lot of these books feature surveys and check lists that people can use to discover the extent of their anger issues. Many will also advise that the person get professional help if the problems are too much to deal with using only the methods outlined in the book. Sometimes you just need to consult with a trained professional.

Many of the tips in anger management self help books have to do with changing the way the person think about the situations or people that make them angry. By changing these thinking patterns, the individuals can change their words and actions since they will have already done their 'cooling down' in their mind so that they are not just reacting to the situation at hand. In many of these tips in anger management self help books, they will advise individuals to put themselves into the other person's shoes and to try and break down the situation based on reality and realistic future effects of the situation. Individuals can start to change their thinking by asking themselves if the situation will really matter an hour from the time of the event. If not, it is probably not worth bothering about. Another question is to ask whether the individuals have ever done the same actions as the person who has made them angry, since most of the time they have done similar things. It is difficult to be judgmental and angry when the individuals do the same sorts of things, either by accident or on purpose.

There are other anger management tips that are geared toward helping individuals to take a break from the situation and to relax their minds and bodies. One tip is as simple as counting to ten before saying anything back to the other person. There are other tips that suggest to use humor in the individuals' minds before saying anything, like instead of calling someone a name like 'idiot' or worse, try to picture that person in an idiot's suit like a court jester dancing around to relieve some stress. There are also breathing methods, such as breathing from the diaphragm and going outside for a brief walk which are also tips in anger management self help books.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Look at New Anger Management Therapy Techniques

If you're investigating your options in anger management therapy, you might be interested in learning about some of the new approaches to controlling anger. But are they any better than the tried and true techniques? It really depends on your particular circumstances and what kind of approach works best for you on a personal level. There are a lot of anger management treatment methods that have been around for some time now. They have proven to be highly effective for a lot of people who have used them to lead a happier, more productive life with a higher degree of self control. But if you've given a try to all the traditional approaches and haven't experienced the effects you wanted, you might want to look into some of the new anger management therapy techniques.

Most anger management techniques are geared toward one or more of the following concepts: relaxation, cognitive restructuring, problem solving, improved communication, using humor to defuse the overpowering emotions, or changing your environment to reduce the stressors that are contributing to your anger response. These are tried and true ideas that have helped many people get a handle on their anger responses.

Recognizing that anger has a physiological component, for example, can help you understand why some simple relaxation techniques can buy you the few moments that can sometimes be enough to help you get your anger under control. Using humor as a defusing technique can help you learn to redirect your anger in more constructive ways, without ignoring or suppressing it in ways that can lead to high blood pressure, digestive problems, or depression. Cognitive restructuring can give you the ability to replace the irrational, emotion-driven thought process that accompanies anger with calmer, more logical ones. Changing your environment may be as simple as agreeing with your spouse not to have financial conversations in the evening when you are tired, or staking out some personal time when you first arrive home from work before family demands and requests are allowed.

But for various reasons, you may not have been successful with these techniques. If so, there are new anger management therapies, and even medication therapies for anger management, that may prove helpful to you. One new anger management therapy involves "neuro-linguistic programming," or NLP, a cognitive technique that some therapists use to "re-train" the neural pathways in the brain for different responses. Other new anger management therapies include the use of hypnotherapy as a means of delaying or altering the body's anger response in situations where it would formerly have been activated. These new anger management tips may help you start living a better, more productive and hassle-free life.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Get Marriage Counseling For Anger Management Before It's Too Late

When couples first get married, they feel like their love and bliss will last for an eternity. Sometimes, though, things go wrong. The honeymoon ends, and they realize that it takes a lot of work to keep a marriage going. They start to argue about how things should be done, and in some cases the situation can escalate to angry fights. They might say unkind things that they don’t really mean, maybe objects get thrown and broken, and sometimes they might feel like physically hurting the other person. When things get that out of hand, then the time has come to seek out marriage counseling for anger management.

You need to get professional help and an anger management counseling service is really the only way you can find out why the two of you are so angry at each other. The main reason why marriage counseling for anger management works is that it forces both of you talk about what’s going on with your marriage and with your lives in general. A marriage counselor knows that things are likely to be rough at first and the two of you may not want to say much for fear of igniting the other one’s fury. However, as time goes on, talking will come easier and the marriage counseling will seem to be doing the trick.

It’ll soon become obvious during your marriage counseling for anger management sessions that certain talking points really seem to be ignition points for starting up that anger. These may be discussions about money, or about the kids’ education, or about anything that causes the two of you to bicker. These are the points that should be talked about the most and the marriage counselor will then try to bring both of you into agreement so that the fighting decreases drastically.

The goal of marriage counseling for anger management is to cause the two of you to express your love for one another. You shouldn’t be fighting as much once you've learned some valuable anger management tips. When you’re finished, hopefully, the two of you will learn to either agree on anything or agree to disagree. No longer will you be at each other’s throats. It’s important for you to realize that a healthy marriage does involve arguing. However, when that arguing brings out immense anger and threatens the marriage as a whole, that’s when a professional is called for to bring an amicable solution so that the two of you can find that spark once more.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Anger Management Group Activities: An Overview

Anger management group activities can be highly useful in a number of situations. They can help to improve morale and team spirit in the workplace. They can teach children in the classroom to work together and cooperate. Every time you get a group of people together to cooperate on a project, there are certain to be issues that can cause people to become upset. In some instances, people may have a difficult time managing their anger, causing even greater issues when they let loose their rage on the others in the group. This is the main reason why anger management group activities have been shown to be so useful in these kinds of circumstances. They help the participants learn how to keep their emotions under control for improved results and relationships.

When organizing anger management group activities for children, facilitators can choose between written activities like worksheets and games that the group can play together. Young children will probably not be able to maintain an attention span for a group discussion, so try to keep the anger management group activities active and fun for as long as possible. In many cases, the children will play the game first, and then the facilitator will ask them how they felt during the game and how they dealt with those feelings. For example, at the end of a board game, the facilitator might ask how children felt when they lost, how they could handle the disappointment and what they could do differently next time. Rewarding children for good sportsmanship or other positive behavior may also be an option.

When planning anger management group activities for adults, it sometimes helps to call the event a "team building" activity to paint the game in a positive light. Adults who are coming together specifically for the benefit of learning anger management skills might respond well to discussion time, when the facilitator goes around the room and asks each person if they are angry at any individuals and encourages them to talk through and deal with their feelings. In these situations, the individual with the specific issue can turn to the others in the group for feedback as well, allowing them to vent frustrations and collect constructive ways to work past it. Don't disregard some favorite kids' games for the adults in the anger management group activities either. In some cases, adults will get a kick out of playing children's games and the discussion that goes on after the fact can be much more detailed and age appropriate.

If you are looking for activities to do with a group of children or adults, the Internet is loaded with free anger management activities. You can also hire the services of a professional who is trained in anger management tips to facilitate your group. Anger management group activities can be the perfect way to head off negative feelings at the pass and create a calmer, more harmonious environment all around.